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A Gandy Girl

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Carry the Ocean

Carry the Ocean - Heidi Cullinan This is Julie. I am at a loss on how exactly one communicates through words the impact this book has on a reader. This is a book that must be experienced in order to fully grasp it for what it is...there really is no other way to put it.

This is a book about communication...about understanding how to communicate with another person...about realizing how you need to be understood and how to better explain that to those around you. It is beautiful and it is real. From the first page you are drawn into the inner space of Emmet and you are forever changed.

No words can explain what an emotional and impactful experience this book has...you just have to take it and see for yourself.

A 6 star read for me that will forever live in my heart.


Status Updates:

1% done with Carry the Ocean: Dedication
for all who navigate the waters of life's superpowers
may you ever stay afloat

So yeah...that's pretty awesome!

8% done with Carry the Ocean: I wanted to text back, but first I filled out his contact information and gave him a vibration pattern so I would know it was him when he texted next time. I gave him the heartbeat pattern because he made my heartbeat go funny, and because I wanted him to be my boyfriend. You use hearts for boyfriends. Or girlfriends, if you’re not gay or if you’re lesbian.

14% done with Carry the Ocean: With every day I hung out with him, anything less than that kind of happiness didn’t feel like a life worth pursuing.

16% done with Carry the Ocean: Emmet's brain octopus is angry.

23% done with Carry the Ocean: Them typing messages to each other in the hallway...

23% done with Carry the Ocean:

26% done with Carry the Ocean: Hold me, Marietta. Somebody hold me. Somebody speak patiently and kindly to me. Somebody come running to save me too.
No one did. No one ever had.

Breaking my heart.

32% done with Carry the Ocean: My brain is a bully who never leaves.
Sad but true. :(

50% done with Carry the Ocean: “You didn’t mess up anything. In fact, I think you gave Jeremey exactly what he needed: someone to protect. He was so nervous until he saw you needed rescuing, and that gave him his courage. You helped him belong. You were better medicine for him than anything Dr. North could prescribe.”

51% done with Carry the Ocean: “This isn’t about you, hon. This is about her processing what’s going on with Jeremey. She’s only seeing the outside of you, not the inside. She’s only looking at what makes you different and not at what makes you special. She sees safety in normal. But remember normal doesn’t mean right. It means average. Conforming. Why would you want to do that?”
I love her. ❤️

58% done with Carry the Ocean: I set up my bedroom first. We’d bought a new bed so I could still have my other bed at home. My new bed was a double bed, so I could have sex in it if I wanted. I told this to Mom, but she told me not to tell her those kinds of things. I told her she doesn’t make sense, and she said she understood but still didn’t want to hear about me having sex.
Classic mother!!

62% done with Carry the Ocean: You know, everything I read said noises were okay in sex, but if autistic people make noises because things are too intense and it’s not sex, everyone acts as if it’s a big scandal. People make less sense than my mom or brains.
Love Emmet!

68% done with Carry the Ocean: Maybe I’m different, but I have custom font invitations on my bathroom mirror to have good-morning sex. I bet all the people who think Emmet and I are trained dogs don’t have anything as awesome as that.

74% done with Carry the Ocean: I didn’t want to kill myself, but a dark empty space closed around me, and if I could have stayed in there and died, I would have. I didn’t die, though. I really am Super Emmet, and like the comic book Superman, I have a powerful secret weapon.
My mom.

81% done with Carry the Ocean: “I can’t hit you. Hitting is wrong.” I hummed and flapped. “I could make a sign and teach you. A sign that means, David, you’re a jerk and need to stop right now.”
"They have one of those already. It’s called your middle finger.”
The middle finger is a rude gesture, and I’m not supposed to do it. But I decided that for David, a rude gesture was probably exactly what I needed. “Okay.”


85% done with Carry the Ocean: "Let's walk down the first aisle to the end. We'll go to the men's underwear and turn around."
Two books in a week with Target and underwear!! I love it!

88% done with Carry the Ocean: ...I realized I was always this cool. I'd just been waiting to figure it out.
Yeah Jeremey!!!