Broken Pieces
After 4 reads this is still one of my all time favorite books.
***
Well, to say I was nervous to start the audiobook for one of my all time favorite books would be an understatement...but Jack Dupont did an absolutely amazing job. His Mateo was by far my favorite of the three but never did I expect all three voices to live up to my expectations.
Once again, I fell in love with Tristan. He, for me, is the most beautiful and captivating character in this book and the scenes between him and Mateo continue to get better and better with each read. My heart is so full for them and nothing is more satisfying for me than the end of this quite remarkable book.
****
Second read and honestly I need to make some room next to Rumspringa for this one. Absolutely beautiful book. ❤️❤️❤️
****
“We might be broken in so many ways, but together, we’re whole.”
Well, it would be an understatement to say I was blown away by this book. This was so much better than I ever could have imagined. I was totally prepared for a great read, to bawl my eyes out and to come away satisfied. Kleenex in hand...I went in. In the end, I never shed a tear and my face was sore from grinning so much. I loved every moment of this book except one and for those who've read this probably know which scene it was that nearly broke me. Yep...the near rape of Josiah.
Knowing going in that these three beautiful characters would end up together, I just never once saw anything that happened as angsty, never saw anything other than love in the actions of these men and never once had reservations regarding their interactions with each other.
For many, Tristan seems to be a character that people had trouble connecting with. Having issues seeing him with Josiah, the way they saw Josiah with Mateo. And granted...Josiah and Mateo knew each other first, they had a life together...so yes...it's hard to accept the new guy. But for me, this beautiful broken man was just the missing piece that I knew they had to find so his character entrance for me was so welcomed. I was most concerned however by how Riley Hart would develop the relationship between Tristan and Mateo...but this came about so amazingly well and they're love for each other never felt forced or rushed. Tristan's story for me and his healing in the arms of these two was absolute perfection.
This is not a threesome or a ménage brought together through sex...this is the joining of three broken men into a beautiful relationship. They are whole and more fulfilled together...
When Tristan bent forward and kissed him, his body sang with pleasure, like it always did. The pulses of his heart became Josiah, like they always did, but there was something missing. Someone.
Tristan eased back. “You feel so damn incredible, but it like there’s an empty space, too.”
Josiah’s hands tightened in his shirt as he pressed his lips to Tristan’s again. It was in the way Josiah held him, the way he kissed him, that, as much as they loved each other, Josiah felt the same.
Tristan pulled back, grabbing Josiah’s hand, before nodding toward the building. “Come on. Let’s go get Mateo and go home.”
Honestly I am not sure the two could ultimately have been happy without the third.
“Feeling something for Tristan, no matter how new it is, doesn’t change how you feel about me. I know that because no matter how much I love him, I love you just as much. I know there are things you guys have both been through that I probably won’t ever understand, or that maybe you won’t ever tell me, but if you can share it with anyone, I want it to be each other. There are things I have with you that I don’t have with Tristan, and things I have with him that I don’t have with you. It’s like, for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m really whole, Teo.”
Writing a honest relationship like this is not an easy task...creating three characters completely devoted to each other with no jealousy is very difficult to pull off but Riley Hart did this just amazingly well.
This beauty goes easily in the top 3 MM books for me.
**Highly recommended.**
Reading Updates:
1%
Well...here we go...
4%
It was his fault. Josiah knew that. He’d always watched people, pretended he had their lives and dreamed about how he would live them. But it hadn’t been because he wanted the boy.
6%
Maybe he had been looking at Josiah the way Josiah tried not to look at him. Because even though Mateo was hard...there was something beautiful about him, too. And he knew, knew that Josiah was gay, and he hadn’t said a word. No one had ever known about him before.
11%
He could deal with it, not having the rest of them, because deep inside he wanted Mateo more than anything else. He didn’t know why and didn’t understand it. All he knew was all those empty rooms inside him were somehow filled when Mateo was around.
17%
“Why do you throw up? You did it when you almost got in the fight at school, and then again tonight.”
You’re too weak! You have to be strong, Mateo. You’re a leader. Weak men are dead men.
Teo tried to block out his dad’s words. Tried to focus on Josiah, because he was all that really mattered, anyway. “Because I’m weak... Hurting people makes me sick.”
Josiah leaned up on his elbow, looking down at him. “That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you incredible.”
Gaaaaahhhhh ❤️❤️❤️
25%
“We are better than that. You love me and I love you. And maybe I want more for you, too. You’re always talking about what you want for me, and how I deserve better, but you do, too. You deserve better. We can take away those memories with us."
27%
Oh my god...no!!
I don't even have the energy to say anything more
29%
He didn’t flinch when he heard the bathroom door open. Curled into Josiah when he lay on the floor with him. They wrapped their arms around each other, Teo holding on with everything he had, to the only thing in his life that mattered.
31%
34%
“You’re such a good boy. Isabel...she’s good too. She— ”
"Isn’t a man.” It wasn’t the first time he’d said it. “And a relationship is the last thing I want.” Ever.
“Well that’s just silly. Everyone wants to be loved, Tristan, and if it’s a man that will make you happy, then find one. I don’t care who makes you happy, as long as you are.”
48%
"I know I don't have to do this. I want to. I want you."
50%
It wasn’t as if Tristan wasn’t always gorgeous, but there was something so...beautiful about seeing him let go. Because he was. Josiah saw that in the way he lavished him. The way his eyes closed and his body shuddered. It was the first time Josiah has really seen Tristan free, and it rocked him to his core.
53%
“You’re him, aren’t you? The one who likes to walk and feed the birds?”
56%
“If I could completely give myself to anyone, it would be you. If I deserved anyone to take care of me, I would want it to be you.” That was the realest truth he could give Josiah.
60%
PART THREE: Josiah, Mateo, & Tristan
My heart is so excited and happy. ❤️❤️❤️
63%
Because he knew Josiah had to do this. Knew he had to let him. He replayed the image of Josiah in Mateo’s arms. On the one hand, he’d hated it... but on the other, there was this part of him who thought they were beautiful together. The way they contrasted each other in every way— dark and light. Anger and love. Rough and smooth. Bitter and sweet. But yes, they’d been beautiful, too.
❤️❤️❤️
68%
Josiah let his queen and his bird roll around in his hand. He made them touch and flip over each other, wishing they could somehow be a part of one another. That his queen could protect the bird. Be strong for it and take care of it. The bird in return nurturing and loving the queen. Or that he could do something for them. What did he do for them besides fall apart? Be the broken piece they’d both had to put together?
71%
It was with that in his head that Tristan walked forward. Took in the way Josiah and Mateo looked together, both of them sexy as hell, only in completely different ways. Saw the way they automatically leaned in to each other, and damned if it didn’t make fire burn its way through him in a completely different way than he expected. He suddenly imagined what they would look like together in passion, touching, and it didn’t make him jealous. It made him hot all over.
80%
There are things in Tristan’s past I may never know, just like there are with you. None of us are perfect, but we all deserve to be happy. Not just me.”
91%
When Mateo wrapped his arms around Tristan, he realized Tristan wasn’t just slack against him anymore...they were holding each other up. His eyes stung. His gut ached. Bile rose in his throat. And fuck if his heart wasn’t somehow matching Tristan’s beat.
97%
He was the rock, and not just because he drew them together. No, because he held them together. He was the glue that made all their broken pieces fit to make them whole.
100%
Read#2: 2015 August 5th - 9th
1%
Yeah...I need this
5%
Damned if something didn’t draw Teo to Josiah’s eyes again. How they looked at him differently...deeply, in a way the kid had never braved before. And they were almost sad. Mateo had never experienced someone looking at him like that. Maybe Molly and William, in their own way, but it was with pity. He fucking hated pity. He didn’t deserve that Josiah’s eyes looked like...almost like in some ways he felt what Mateo did. Like he somehow got it.
❤️❤️❤️
7%
He’d done so much shit. So much bad fucking shit. It was who he was. His dad told him so, and Javier told him. Teo knew that. Knew Josiah’s words were wrong, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want them. Didn’t want to hold them in his hands and tattoo them into his skin so he’d always have them.
8%
“No one’s ever looked at me the way you do. Like...I don’t know.” Mateo’s voice was so soft he hardly heard him. But he had, and Josiah’s face flamed with heat.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean...” No other words would come so he started to roll over instead.
“No.” Mateo’s voice stopped him. “It makes me feel like I'm somethin'."
Excuse me while I gush over this book at every page. ❤️❤️
11%
Touch me. Please. Josiah’s hand itched to feel Mateo. To experience his warmth, just so he could make sure he was really there.
*melting into floor*
18%
“Has anyone ever taken care of you?”
-Josiah
25%
“ Estoy aquí. Siempre aquí. Soy tuyo. I’m here. Always here. I’m yours.”
❤️❤️❤️
27%
Charlie is a fucking asshole!
29%
Rocking back and forth, he let the tears fall. For Josiah and all the ways he’d been hurt. For all the ways Mateo had fucked up with him. For his mom who got killed because she stayed with his gangbanging dad. All he wanted to do was love Josiah, to be with him and protect him. Was that too much to fucking ask? He cried until he didn’t have any tears left.
He didn’t flinch when he heard the bathroom door open. Curled into Josiah when he lay on the floor with him. They wrapped their arms around each other, Teo holding on with everything he had, to the only thing in his life that mattered.
31%
With one last look at the man he loved, Mateo walked away.
So yeah...
38%
“I don’t... I don’t mind that you ask me questions. I just won’t answer them all. There are some things that are mine, I guess. Some things that will always only belong to me.”
51%
Josiah’s breathing sped up. When Tristan filled him, the reaction was automatic. He moved back, trying to get closer. Wanting Tristan to move. To fuck him. But that’s not what this felt like, was it? It was more. Unexpected. And he was drowning in it.
56%
I didn't think I could love this book more but...
60%
“Teo...”
63%
Because he knew Josiah had to do this. Knew he had to let him. He replayed the image of Josiah in Mateo’s arms. On the one hand, he’d hated it... but on the other, there was this part of him who thought they were beautiful together. The way they contrasted each other in every way— dark and light. Anger and love. Rough and smooth. Bitter and sweet. But yes, they’d been beautiful, too.
68%
Josiah let his queen and his bird roll around in his hand. He made them touch and flip over each other, wishing they could somehow be a part of one another. That his queen could protect the bird. Be strong for it and take care of it. The bird in return nurturing and loving the queen. Or that he could do something for them. What did he do for them besides fall apart? Be the broken piece they’d both had to put together?
82%
“Don’t be in such a hurry. Wine is something to be savored. Let yourself really taste it.”
"You’re crazy.” Mateo shook his head.
“Trust me.”
They both froze at that. Trust. The word wasn’t something Tristan truly believed in. Or he hadn’t. But then...he’d grown to trust Josiah, hadn’t he? And Josiah had never done anything to betray that trust.
And damned if there wasn’t a part of him that trusted Mateo, too.
As the pause drew out between them, his chest grew tight, because he realized this turned into something more than trusting him with the wine.
88%
“Feeling something for Tristan, no matter how new it is, doesn’t change how you feel about me. I know that because no matter how much I love him, I love you just as much. I know there are things you guys have both been through that I probably won’t ever understand, or that maybe you won’t ever tell me, but if you can share it with anyone, I want it to be each other. There are things I have with you that I don’t have with Tristan, and things I have with him that I don’t have with you. It’s like, for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m really whole, Teo.”
4
