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Nowhere Ranch

Nowhere Ranch - Heidi Cullinan

“Roe. Monroe Harold Davis. You are not a piece of shit. You are not garbage. You are not less than anybody. In fact, I think you’re probably better than most people I know. I know for a fact you’re a better person than me.”

I love this book more and more with each read and each time I am more surprised by that. This includes scenes that for me are so kinky and yet the characters are developed in such a way that you totally understand every situation, every touch and every need. Roe is such a beautifully rich character and so amazingly depicted and Travis is so loving, caring and just exactly what Roe needs. Yeah...I love a good swoon.

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So yeah...I've now listened to the amazing narration by Iggy Toma. Just fabulous...and I am left as emotionally impacted as I was the first time (I know...it's only been two days...but still). What unbelievable characters. I still can't write a proper review so I will just continue to ramble with each re-read until my thoughts begin to make sense.

***

Well so I said I would write a review. For 24 hours now I've thought of nothing but this book and what the hell to say about it.

Yes it's kinky kinky but boy did it work here...and boy did it work for me. I truly believe this book has to land on the reader at just the right time on their MM reading journey. Too soon and the kink could scare the reader off because all they would see is the kink. Well I'm here to tell you that the kink is necessary here...it works and it's not what the book only consists of. The relationship and character development of our two men was unbelievably rich and beautiful to watch unfold.

Plus add one of the most passionate best friends that I've seen. Haley is sweet but fierce and her scene near the end of the book had me cheering her name through the tears on my face.

Now...is this the review I wanted to write??? NO. Is this my final review??? NO. So, what am I to do?? Well...how about I buy the audio and start the beautiful story all over again. Yes. Yes. That's exactly what I will do.

Until then..here are a few quotes in addition to the beautiful quotes below in my updates that left me pretty breathless.

He came in slow. He had his eyes on me the whole time, hard and strong, which was the only thing keeping me from turning away. Until the last second I thought he was going to do something kinky, like bite me or lick my lips. That would have been fine. But after he bent down, my unsteady breath against his mouth, he kissed me. Soft. Sweet. Unbearably gentle. It made me feel jangly and strange. Made me ache, made me hurt. Made me want to turn away, and I started to.

My whole body gave over to him. My body trusted him, not just my mind. Trusted him with everything.

I was never the devil, and I didn’t deserve to be treated like one. Hate can never be love, not for any excuse.




And I failed to mention that the cover of this book so beautifully represents the story within. I love it.


Reading Updates:

2%

When they turned me loose for good, I got out of Algona.
I was tired of it. Tired of letting other people make me feel like shit. Tired of people treating me as if I had the plague. Tired of alternating between blaming everybody else for my problems and thinking if I acted guilty enough they might forgive me.
I got tired of waiting for home to come to me.

I like Monroe already.

10%

All the bad things everybody had said about me back home were true. I was degenerate and fit only for hell. Because if this was hell, then fucking sign me up.

Me too. *fans self*

17%

Kayla...you bitch...


27%

“You were beautiful. You made my teeth ache just watching you.”
Right then I felt beautiful. Sore and tired and beautiful. And not lonely. Not lonely at all.

Totally falling hard for these two. ❤️❤️

43%

“I want you to work for me and cook for me and talk with me. And then I want to fuck you, Roe. I want to fuck you so good I ruin you for anybody else. I want to make you mine. Mine. I want to brand you like the cattle. Not because I’m in love with you. Because I want you, and because I don’t want anyone else to have you.”
Phew.

56%

Goddamn it, I needed to run so bad it was a knife in me. But I couldn’t. Couldn’t go home. Couldn’t run. Couldn’t cook. Could only stand there, bleeding out but never dying.


71%

There, on Christmas Day up in my apartment holding Haley while she cried with the dogs by us, that was when I had my first glimpse of home.
Gaaaaahhhhh. I'm a fucking mess.

84%

I reached out, fingers shaking. He met my hand halfway, and he gripped it tight. I felt his strength come into me, and I think I took my first real breath in ten minutes.
Yeah...still a fucking mess.

90%

I swear this Haley's last name should be Covington!!! ❤️❤️❤️


2nd Read: 2015, September 28th -29th

1%

Yeah work be damned...I am starting the audio. <3

2%

5 minutes in and Iggy Toma is absolutely perfect.


18%

...it messed me up something awful to have someone look at me with love and tell me how wrong I am. They act as if there’s a Monroe Davis who is good somewhere, and I am the demon in his way. Like I have to die so he can live.

28%

I was getting lost again. Every time I was with him, I could let go.

45%

This wasn’t any asking. This was claiming.
I wasn’t sorry. I felt like that crazy sea inside me was settling into a calm. He had drawn it out of the bottle I kept it in, but when I looked up at him, it eased, because if my wild insides were a sea, his gray eyes were the world’s biggest fucking bowl, and they held me. Caught me and held me and bore me up.


59%

He grabbed me around the waist, and when I tried to fight him, he pulled me back and wrestled me to the floor. I kicked and clawed and swore, but he held me down. He pressed his body against mine and held me to the carpet while I shouted and cursed and tried to fight. Held me until I stopped fighting.

60%

"...They want me to be a Roe I can’t be, and it will only hurt everybody more if I go back. But it’s hard to hear him asking and not answer.”
It seemed so damn simple when I said it like that.
“Who’s the Roe you can’t be?” he asked.
I was still staring at the wall, but it was fading, turning to gray mist. “Straight.”


78%

I shouted and slammed at gates, pushing deeper and deeper into the ranch. Past the barn, out into the pens we had sorted the pregnant ewes into. I didn’t even check on them. I just kept going. There was this whisper gnawing on me, asking me where the fuck I thought I was going, but that made my chest tighter, and I shook my head, clenched my teeth and whispered, “Nowhere. I ain’t going nowhere.”
Then I realized I was already there. I was such shit I fucked up nowhere.

Oh, Roe.

82%

“You really mean it. You really do think you’re garbage compared to other people.” When I tried to turn my head away from him, he held my chin fast. “Roe. Monroe Harold Davis. You are not a piece of shit. You are not garbage. You are not less than anybody. In fact, I think you’re probably better than most people I know. I know for a fact you’re a better person than me.”
Yep...cue the tears...again.

91%

“Listen.” Kayla was back on her feet and pissed as hell, but Haley rounded on her, pregnant belly and everything.
“No, you listen. You too, Pastor. You listen, and you listen fucking good. You get your ears turned all the way on, because today I have the gospel for you, and you had better fucking take notes.”

Love Haley!

3rd Read: 2016, February 1st - 3rd

1%

Yeah I need some kinky Heidi to balance out the Disney one. Sue me.
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7%

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18%

But it messed me up something awful to have someone look at me with love and tell me how wrong I am. They act as if there’s a Monroe Davis who is good somewhere, and I am the demon in his way. Like I have to die so he can live.

29%

I find myself wanting to repeat the same posts I already have posted previously. Oh well...at least I'm consistent. :)
“You were beautiful. You made my teeth ache just watching you.”
Right then I felt beautiful. Sore and tired and beautiful. And not lonely. Not lonely at all.


43%

He came in slow. He had his eyes on me the whole time, hard and strong, which was the only thing keeping me from turning away. Until the last second I thought he was going to do something kinky, like bite me or lick my lips. That would have been fine. But after he bent down, my unsteady breath against his mouth, he kissed me. Soft. Sweet. Unbearably gentle. It made me feel jangly and strange. Made me ache, made me hurt. Made me want to turn away, and I started to.

45%

"I want to make you mine. Mine."

54%

He pulled me down and held me tight, so tight I almost couldn’t breathe. He kissed my neck, nuzzling it with a tenderness that almost broke me.

57%

Run.
Goddamn it, I needed to run so bad it was a knife in me. But I couldn’t. Couldn’t go home. Couldn’t run. Couldn’t cook. Could only stand there, bleeding out but never dying.


gaaaaahhhh :-(

83%

He put it around my neck and told me it was to remind me I belonged at Nowhere and Nowhere belonged to me. Which I knew was his way of saying he belonged to me.

"You are not a piece of shit."


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85%

I reached out, fingers shaking. He met my hand halfway, and he gripped it tight. I felt his strength come into me, and I think I took my first real breath in ten minutes.

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91%

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4th Read: 2016, July 24th - 25th (BR/Audiobook with Marco)

 

Nothing more to really say that I have not already said above.  I absolutely love this book.