A Gandy Girl

*Hate Rant Ahead*

Why did I pick this up?  Ok, so I may have a little love to hate relationship with HAIR.  After several reads in the past *cough cough Saving Samuel and Captive Prince*… where at a certain point all you notice are the references to hair. Whether this be the constant references to color, length, the need to rub your hands through it, wash it, comb it, perm it.  Gawd...

And with these reads, specifically Saving Samuel…these awful moments can also make for some of the most fun BRs ever.  So yeah…Teri and I ventured in to this with one goal…

I mean look at this cover! 

HAIR, people, HAIR!!!

Flowing red hair touched down to the man’s waist, swishing back and forth as he moved seductively toward them.

This should have kept us entertained, dammit!!

And yet…

Now, we did get a few moments of swishing and images of the hair spread on the bed…but that’s it!! 

There was no washing, no combing, no perming, no braiding…no NOTHING!! 

Ok…

shall we move on?

The relationship.  Well to say this might be the fastest I have seen two people come together would be an understatement.

Radisq had already grown bored, monotonously greeting all the nobles as they stepped up to him. With the exception of Ilno keeping him company, he was still anxious about the party and thus unable to enjoy it. Even still, he had been raised to be gracious at all times thus absentmindedly performing his duty as a host. But the moment hair the color of flame and eyes the shape of almonds caught his attention, boredom had quickly vanished.

…

Unable to control himself or stop, Radisq flew into Aaeren’s arms and slammed his mouth against the other man’s, groaning as he tasted heaven. For a minute, Aaeren was held immobile by surprise, but soon he wrapped his arms around the young Water prince and drove his tongue into the sweet, moist heat awaiting his pleasure. Radisq wrapped his legs around Aaeren’s waist and dug his fingers into Aaeren’s hair, displacing the decorations holding the other man’s hair back. Radisq barely registered the silky texture of Aaeren’s hair as it sifted through his fingers, moaning at the explosive taste that washed all over him. Never had he had such a reaction to anyone before and never had he forgotten his surroundings, consumed by the presence of one person.

Yep…now mind you there was a WHOLE PAGE between these two paragraphs…so it wasn’t immediate.  BWAHAHAHA

And he had to be pried off of him!!  I mean this is pretty damn funny and I pee’d my pants a few times for sure.

Then we learn that these two are now to be mated and journey off for the “matingmoon” trip to the various kingdoms. While traveling, idiot boy (humper) learns he is pregnant. 

MPREG??  THIS IS MPREG??  PLEASE NO!!!  (and this may be sexist or wrong…but I would have figured the MC portrayed with that vast amount of woman’s hair on the cover would be the one to bear this burden…and yet…NOPE.)

After this scary revelation the book went downhill fast.  Not only because, my gawd, if we lose our MPREG cherry on this, I might not recover, but NOTHING HAPPENED!! 

A book that in the first 25% was rather hilarious and entertaining, soon turned to pages of nonsense. And the writing…

Snuggling into his mate, Radisq let one of his legs slip into Aaeren’s and shimmied around until he settled into a comfortable position.

I am still not sure what he slipped his leg “into”.

A matingmoon trip cut short due to the death of the King and a new crowning of our MC and this book be over.  Well…all that took about 50 more pages…so yeah.  Thankfully we did not endure the birth of the “babe”!

Oh and let’s not forget that our MC’s are horny…and most of the interactions left us alarmed and not at all satisfied.

Aaeren had quickly quelled those fears by making love to him. In fact, everyone around them had learned to note the signs when the couples were about to get it on and flee whatever room they were occupying at the time.

On several occasions, Radisq had come to find his mate in a meeting with his advisors only for the meeting to be cut short and the advisors vacating at the speed of lightning. One time, they had not been quick enough and had almost gotten a show from their king.

As it turned out, neither of the two cared about whether or not they had an audience.

Well…we did survive and thankfully finished without calling this a DNF…but this was bad.  Like really bad.  Totally not what I wanted at all.

Oh and I failed to mentioned the lack of veil and the appearance of flame throwing superpowers at 95%.